We have been used to look at stress as our worst enemy, capable of transforming our lives in something horrible: from relationships with other people to our health. We have been taught to avoid anxiety, but, if we know how to turn it in positive, it can be a precious ally.
How many times you thought that stress is dangerous for your work, for the realization of a project or, more in general, for life? Kelly Mc Gonigal, health psychology expert, in a 2013 TED talk, brought some researches’ results, subverting the common sense (watch the speech).
One of these researches, took place in the United States in 2012 on a sample of over 30,000 people and, surprisingly, debunked some false myths. Yes, because it is true that among those interviewed who admitted that they had experienced very stressful times recently, the risk of death was 43% higher than those who lived in a calmer way. But the data affected only those who believed that stress was dangerous to health. Those who, though stressed, did not look at his/her condition as dangerous were in the “longest-lived” category. Unbelievable? But it is just like that.
How many times, before a job interview, you thought “Oh my God, I am super-shaken! They will notice and I will lose all my chances!”. Well, have a look to this further study carried on by the Harvard University: before submitting candidates to a series of tests capable of creating apprehension in the most unshakable of the students, the researchers explained how to re-evaluate stress, how to look with new eyes at the reactions of our body. A faster breathing, which we tend to associate with the idea of panic, is for example just a way of getting more oxygen to the brain. The extraordinary result is that once faced with the “terrible” tests, candidates did not live them as unpleasant situations: the heart was beating more strongly, but it was a state of positive excitement.
The way you look at stress, therefore, can make a difference between an healthy and a potentially dangerous experience, between the discomfort and the exaltation in front of difficulties.
Furthermore, the stress generates oxytocin, an hormone which drives us to seek to other people to comfort us when we are in trouble.
To follow it, trying to dedicate more time to others is another factor that allows us to rediscover our balance, which is decisive for living a healthier and longer life.
To understand how easy it is to find the so desired wellbeing, I suggest you this small experiment: try to describe on a paper sheet the next heavy task you will face. In resonance with what you read, imagine and describe what will happen and the final outcome. Do you feel optimistic? All that remains is to reflect on why.
Perceiving stress as an act of courage is a secret weapon that until now, perhaps, you have never used. Now, though, you know you have it in your arsenal.
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If you want to explore the topic of how to change the perception of stress or, more generally, of what limits you, try the coaching
Giulia Imbastoni e Tommaso Crocoli