A 30 year old lady of a nice Canadian city is fired just for answering to a rude costumer. The same day a man, met in a loving chat, cancels the appointment with her without any previous notice and, in the square the appointment was supposed to be in, begins to rain. She enters a coffee and the waitress offers her an hot cappuccino, but unfortunately hazelnut grains were inside, food to which our lady is allergic. Urgently carried to hospital, after fainting, she meets a Doctor Tom, an unconventional person who seems to know her very well. Doctor Tom introduces himself as a sui generis therapist and offers the lady his therapy: to write the list of all the regrets and to go back in time to fix them. In few words this lady was given the chance of re-writing her history: who would dislike it? I confess that the plot of this TV series, “Being Erica”, stimulated even my fantasy.
To go back in time not to fail that important exam, not to come back with my ex boyfriend… in other words for obtaining what I always have desired and for collecting only successes! If I had had the same opportunity as Erica’s, I would have spoken to that guy I secretly loved when I was 14 years old and maybe it would have been the love story of my life and would have spared from future delusions and sorrows; I would have chosen a business school just after the academic degree instead of choosing a master degree for entering into companies before and having a faster career and so on. I would have rewritten my story as my head imagined it: a perfect life.
The TV series goes on giving Erica the chance of going back in time and fixing every regret. Unfortunately, living again situations she wanted to fix, she makes new mistakes, therefore if she goes back to high school for not getting drunk at the Baccalaureate party doing something all school would talk about, she ends up having all her clothes dirty because of the vomit of her friend and calling for help half naked so that the school still talks about it.
Reflecting on that, is it really possible to think to a life without mistakes? What if, instead of looking for a perfect life, we apply ourselves for transforming in positive what happens to us even if it is not what we desired?
If I think to the worst moment of my life, I realize that having suffered so much permits me to recognize and feel the other people suffer, in one word to feel empathy.
If I want to be honest with myself this is the path that drove me to the profession I have today, that profession which makes me so satisfied and happy. It’s like if that big obstacle was needed for my potential coming out. If you think about the worst moment of your life and you remember how you came out of it, you will discover some of the qualities today you appreciate the most: resilience, self-trust, forgiveness and so on.
I invite you, readers, to a challenge: find a calm place, put some relaxing music on and answer the following questions.
- Which are the 3 biggest failures in my life?
- Which qualities they permit me to develop?
- For what I am really grateful to life?
Then take few minutes to enjoy the emotional state you will achieve. You will be surprised from the calm, serenity and meaningful sensations you will find.